Blue Light.

 I miss her when she's sleeping. Especially now that I lay awake at night with pregsomnia. The room is so still and quiet. Every day I'm counting down til bedtime once the evening rolls around, but lately I've noticed how much she adds to my environment. Her sticky fingers grabbing at my face, the constant "mommy, mommy", super close up view of her chubby smiling face when she's always up in my business. Right about now I could use a laugh as she imitates the way I walk in heels, her persistent repetition of a word when she wants something, or the sweetness of her toddlerhood- like saying "bye bath!" and waving at the bubbles and water as I pull her out of the tub. As if she's thanking a good friend for a good time. 

Maybe I don't really want her up right now at midnight. Perhaps I'm just worried I'll miss something as my other arm cradles a newborn. Probably why I have two arms, two ears, two eyes...