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Thursday, April 30, 2009

This is a photo I took during our walk on Baker Beach this morning. It has a lovely view of the bridge, as you can see here. Then I sat on a rock and took in the view and relaxed. Also, sorry for poking you so much today. I can't wait until you get bigger and can feel your movements more often. One week until the next doctor visit and hopefully we will know if you are a boy or a girl!!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

At work. Super comfy dress. Want fries with ranch for lunch... and a coke... decaf.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

By request :]

Today @ 15 weeks... which is almost 4 months...


vs. 6 weeks


Let's start the library...

I already have some of these classics, the rest I will start buying soon. Plus many, many more. Thank you Mom & Dad for making books my first love.


And also:









And some great newer ones that came after my childhood but I still enjoy...




And when you grow up a little...


Fruit Salad

According to the e-mail I receive every week, you are now the size of an apple.

click here for more info on this week:
As I was searching online for an at-home baby heartbeat machine, I stumbled upon a urine test that you can buy and take at home. After just ten minutes it tells you your baby's gender way before a doctor can see it on an ultrasound! Some reviewers of the product were disappointed when their test results ended up being wrong after having a proper ultrasound, but then there was the other half that did have accurate results! The creators of this product are brilliant! Most likely it is totally fake, but there is a 50/50 chance to be right, so their invention stays on the market. AMAZING!

*note: sarcasm

Monday, April 27, 2009

Just for fun...

Baby Todd on the left



WHYYYY do you always want nachos at night? And not just nachos, real Mexican-style nachos with cheese, sour cream, guacamole, salsa, EVERYTHING. Even jalapeƱos! What's worse, is that here in San Francisco 1.) We don't have a car. 2.) I can't ride on Todd's Vespa because of you. 3.) The only place to get nachos is two bus rides away :( I'm dying, my mouth is watering. Thanks for cramping my style again, Bugsby. In San Diego, we can always get nachos.

*On another note, I've only gained 3-5 pounds so far and it's all in my tummy :)

It is getting worse. I am so cheesy it is getting embarassing.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

One day, when you are old enough to fully understand, I will begin to speak with you about one of my great passions. I owe much to certain existential philosophers, so much of what I know about myself I discovered through my interpretations of Sartre, Nietzsche, Dostoevsky, and their contemporaries. Through the expansion of my mind, I had to let go of the Catholic faith I was raised in. When I became pregnant, I found myself becoming more spiritual, I felt a need for something greater and more pure than the stark reality of our existence. I was going through so many battles within myself, fighting selfish reasons. On one of these days, I sat in a Catholic church, a totally empty one, and I felt such a sense of peace come over me. Since that day I am so strong in my convictions, so positive. I still do not believe in the establishment of organized religion, nor do I adhere to "moral" codes that are not conducive to the progress of humanity. But what I have found is a new found hope and trust in a greater center, one that is truly hoping for the good and prosperity of all of us. I'm not sure where it is, or what it consists of. All I know is that I have your tiny little spirit to thank for making me see that there is still so much mystery in this big, round world of ours.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Yesterday I barely felt you since I was having a very lazy day, just parked on the couch. But today, I'm here at work giving fashion advice when all I really want to do is wear sweats. As I move and walk around, there you are floating and fluttering about and I'm happy to be reminded I will take you wherever I go for the next five and a half months.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

I started drinking coffee again and I am slowly starting to resemble my former self in the beginning of the day. I only have one cup in the morning. One cup being our smallest coffee cup filled halfway with a splash of milk and a spoonful of Ovaltine. The Ovaltine is for you, it has vitamins! Thank you for cooperating and not making me gag at the smell of the coffee Todd makes every morning like I did at 6 weeks and up until recently. We are so much more productive now!!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Your father, as he poked my stomach to "feel you", surprised me by saying he prefers that you be a girl because they are "cuter" but that a boy would be fun because you can "do boys things together". I wonder what doing boy things entails. Picking your noses together? Fishing? Football?
Quite sci-fi if you think about it: Walking around, going about my day as my uterus is literally stretching to make room for a growing lifeform. Yep, I can totally feel it.

Baby bump. Ant hill at least?
Thanks a lot kid, for making me go from tough to completely mushy and cliche. First it was making me teary-eyed because of a pet food commercial before I even knew I was pregnant and now you're making me secretly melt over tiny sneakers and Burberry for newborns.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Sweetest little alien



I read Le Petit Prince for the millionth time today just to remember that there is true beauty in this messy world if we knew from which angle to look for it. That book gives me such a content and elated feeling and I wanted to share that same feeling with you.

I saw you for the fourth time today

I cannot believe that such a small creature, a little alien, is living inside of me right now. Though this was not in my plans for the immediate future, I feel such a calm and peace. Every time I go to the doctor and see little arms and legs move around via ultrasound, I fall in love with a tiny human that I have never formally met. One that has made me tired, sick, and a whole lot curvier in these past fourteen weeks. What is even stranger yet is that I do not feel different from my former self. I still have the same ideas and goals, I still stand for the same things. Yet, I feel more whole and complete, with a something extra I never knew to hope for.
Today when I spent a few hours by myself, I started to think about how though my pregnancy was so unplanned, I have such a desire to protect this lemon-sized child. As I was doing laundry today, folding and bending over constantly, I could feel the contast flutter of his or her movements. I was listening to music and getting distracted and I accidentally pressed on my tummy a little too hard as I picked up things from the floor and I felt the strongest waves of pressure from my stomach. By just stopping for a moment, I could feel exactly where in my body the little one was moving around. Without even thinking, I quickly put my hand to my stomach and whispered, "Sorry, baby."The flutters ceased and just like that, I felt like a mother for the first time.