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Tuesday, April 21, 2009

I saw you for the fourth time today

I cannot believe that such a small creature, a little alien, is living inside of me right now. Though this was not in my plans for the immediate future, I feel such a calm and peace. Every time I go to the doctor and see little arms and legs move around via ultrasound, I fall in love with a tiny human that I have never formally met. One that has made me tired, sick, and a whole lot curvier in these past fourteen weeks. What is even stranger yet is that I do not feel different from my former self. I still have the same ideas and goals, I still stand for the same things. Yet, I feel more whole and complete, with a something extra I never knew to hope for.
Today when I spent a few hours by myself, I started to think about how though my pregnancy was so unplanned, I have such a desire to protect this lemon-sized child. As I was doing laundry today, folding and bending over constantly, I could feel the contast flutter of his or her movements. I was listening to music and getting distracted and I accidentally pressed on my tummy a little too hard as I picked up things from the floor and I felt the strongest waves of pressure from my stomach. By just stopping for a moment, I could feel exactly where in my body the little one was moving around. Without even thinking, I quickly put my hand to my stomach and whispered, "Sorry, baby."The flutters ceased and just like that, I felt like a mother for the first time.

4 comments:

Leann said...

I can't wait to see you and be able to place my hands on your growing belly and feel my niece or nephew kicking and punching for the diesire of fine dinning.

Olga said...

I JUST CRIED !

Aglaia said...

This is why I love you. :)

Anonymous said...

Awww... that's so true..... it becomes even realer when they pass you your lil bundle of joy all meesy from delivery and you look into their little faces.... Brenda