I cannot believe that such a small creature, a little alien, is living inside of me right now. Though this was not in my plans for the immediate future, I feel such a calm and peace. Every time I go to the doctor and see little arms and legs move around via ultrasound, I fall in love with a tiny human that I have never formally met. One that has made me tired, sick, and a whole lot curvier in these past fourteen weeks. What is even stranger yet is that I do not feel different from my former self. I still have the same ideas and goals, I still stand for the same things. Yet, I feel more whole and complete, with a something extra I never knew to hope for.
Today when I spent a few hours by myself, I started to think about how though my pregnancy was so unplanned, I have such a desire to protect this lemon-sized child. As I was doing laundry today, folding and bending over constantly, I could feel the contast flutter of his or her movements. I was listening to music and getting distracted and I accidentally pressed on my tummy a little too hard as I picked up things from the floor and I felt the strongest waves of pressure from my stomach. By just stopping for a moment, I could feel exactly where in my body the little one was moving around. Without even thinking, I quickly put my hand to my stomach and whispered, "Sorry, baby."The flutters ceased and just like that, I felt like a mother for the first time.