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Sunday, April 26, 2009

One day, when you are old enough to fully understand, I will begin to speak with you about one of my great passions. I owe much to certain existential philosophers, so much of what I know about myself I discovered through my interpretations of Sartre, Nietzsche, Dostoevsky, and their contemporaries. Through the expansion of my mind, I had to let go of the Catholic faith I was raised in. When I became pregnant, I found myself becoming more spiritual, I felt a need for something greater and more pure than the stark reality of our existence. I was going through so many battles within myself, fighting selfish reasons. On one of these days, I sat in a Catholic church, a totally empty one, and I felt such a sense of peace come over me. Since that day I am so strong in my convictions, so positive. I still do not believe in the establishment of organized religion, nor do I adhere to "moral" codes that are not conducive to the progress of humanity. But what I have found is a new found hope and trust in a greater center, one that is truly hoping for the good and prosperity of all of us. I'm not sure where it is, or what it consists of. All I know is that I have your tiny little spirit to thank for making me see that there is still so much mystery in this big, round world of ours.

1 comment:

Leann said...

My precious little baby,
I have loved you from the start.
You are a tiny miracle
Laying closely to my heart.
Each day I feel your presence,
Each day you quickly grow,
Each day your heart beats softly,
As only I could know.
So, I'll keep this in a special place
And remember each year through,
Of this special time in my life
In the months I carried you.