I have never felt more human and vulnerable than I do now. Let me explain. I'm still me, but at the same time I feel vulnerable in the sense that I know how much is in my control for the next four months and how much actually isn't. I eat well and take my vitamin every single day. I have read so much about babies and pregnancy that I can answer my own OB/GYN questions sometimes. I'm even reading a very interesting book called "Birth" which is a sort of anthropological look at how we humans give birth compared to other mammals and how that has evolved. Yesterday I even forced a can of sardines (!!!) down my throat because they have more omega-3 than pretty much any other food. But, after all this it becomes even more clear that I can guess and hope and pray for the best, but my baby and all the mysteries about what goes on in my stomach are beyond me.