21 weeks.

My work dresses are getting rather snug, belly grows by the day. By week 40 I'll be in muumuus.

You do what you must.

Some days Olivia refuses her naps, which means I get nothing done. No shower, no serious cleaning, zero. Then I find myself driving her around the neighborhood at noon, still in my red Christmas pajamas and with messy hair, in hopes that she will pass out.

At least it works.

Four letter word.

Usually, I am calm and collected. Not overly emotional, keep a clear head, roll with the punches. It doesn't mean I do not get pissed or sad, it just means I don't let it hang out over my head all day. Usually I have too much going on to dwell and pout. I embrace life's imperfections and let them teach me what they must. But, then there are days where the cloud shifts and the bright light of reality casts an unflattering shadow on everything and I feel overwhelmed. I feel like throwing in the towel and floating on a lazy river wearing oversized sunglasses and sipping way too strong pink cocktails. I want complete loneliness and Belle and Sebastian playing in the background.

If you never have those moments, I applaud you.

The short list.

When a mama is expecting her first baby, she usually has an extensive list of needs and wants and out of that list, she'll be lucky if she uses half of them. Since this baby girl will be my second, and also because I gave birth to my first only 15 months ago (!!!!), my list is quite short and concise. There are only a handful of things I need. I already have blankets, clothes, cloth diapers, the crib, wraps to wear her in, etc.

Here is what is currently on my short list:

Aden+Anais Dream Blanket. We have the Aden+Anais muslin wraps and I love them. So many of my friends have recommended this blanket, and I'll be sure to pack it in the hospital bag.


Medela breast pump. I really regretted not buying a good pump when I had Olivia, especially because of our breastfeeding challenges. This pump has quite a price tag, but it will surely pay off. Especially since my goal is to NEVER buy a can a formula.


Whale Tub. My mom bought this tub for Olivia and I loved it. It sat her very comfortably as a newborn, and we still use it now! It is light and easy to prop up when not in use. Olivia's is starting to show wear and it will be time for a new one for her little sister this summer.


Skip Hop Diaper Bag. This bag has wonderful reviews, and seems perfect for what I need. Something cute, functional, and durable. I was never super in love with the bag I used for Olivia, and it has her name monogrammed on it. This one has great reviews on Amazon, and the price tag is fair.


Double Stroller. I still do not know which, but this is my biggest ticket item. I want something light, durable, comfy, and sleek. Piggy bank, please be good to me!

That is all on the list to buy for now. I am going to make her cloth wipes, a blankie to cuddle with, and nursing pads for me. Any items you couldn't live without? Please share!

:)

It's not only children who grow. Parents do, too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself.
-Joyce Maynard

Nature baby.

Diaper: Full Tilt
Shoes: See Kai Run
Overgrown greenery in the backyard: Lack of mowing

20 weeks, 1 day.

I am halfway there! Halfway done with my last pregnancy, halfway closer to meeting my other baby girl. This pregnancy is sure going by quick, but every single day I remind myself that I need to give Pea extra hugs and kisses because soon she will not be the only little one I need to love and care for. I am still not sure how my heart can fit as much love as I feel for Olivia, but I can feel it growing already.

Yesterday, Natalie from Urban Housewife Blog and I started the maternity series we have been talking about (I added some photos from the shoot below). We started at the Spruce Street Bridge in San Diego, a suspension bridge hidden in a beautiful neighborhood. The weather was nice and sunny, there were friendly people walking through, and of course I wore something striped. No more striped purchases for me!

I anxiously await meeting my bebe #2... until then, Pea loving overload it is.

All photos by Natalie Carlson Holford, copyrighted.






Mini dress: Forever 21
Leggings: American Apparel
Shoes: Miss Sixty
Bracelets: Links of London and purple jade from Chinatown

Another Sunday morning...

I am a morning person, but I especially enjoy Sunday mornings (as I've said before). There is nothing like comfy slippers, Pea roaming around with messy curls and footie pajamas, and the husband doing his thing with a big mug of coffee. This morning was especially fun because I used a gift card I had and now these cute little oxford flats are coming to live with me. Online shopping love.


To shop these, click here.

Have a lovely Sunday!

I really dig this.

Click here to see the post over at Peaceful Parenting about natural birthing supermodel Miranda Kerr and her new baby boy!

The manual.

Somewhere all the perfect moms are hiding the Ultimate Manual to Mothering, while all the rest of us are left to piece together information from parenting books and websites, advice from our own moms, and natural instinct. As Olivia grows older I find myself relying more on the instinct and less on what I am "supposed" to do. Still, I am left with questions.

Although I see Olivia is bright and lively, sometimes there are doubts. I am sure I am not the only mom who wonders: Am I spoiling her too much? Do we not read enough books? Is she confused by hearing two languages back and forth all day? Does she have too much stuff? Which kid will she be in school?

I try to adhere to certain school of thought while raising Olivia, and cultivating the little person she is becoming. We let her be naked sometimes, sleep with us at night, and play in dirt while wearing her new tutu dress. When I notice other mothers not doing the same things, or being more rigid, I cannot imagine my Pea flourishing if I were like that. Then, it all comes back to me. What I do for her is right for us and perhaps for no one else.

Yup, there is dirt under her fingernails at the end of the day and she is happily aware of all the attention but I'll stick to it. It works.

Thursday.

Saturday in Puerto Vallarta.

Monday back in San Diego, 19 week bump in my grandparent's bedroom with Pea.

This morning, 7:00am, our bed.

Ends and beginnings.

Hey, remember me? I have been a bad blogger this past week but I promise I have good reasons. Came back from a mini trip with my little family and then went on a long weekend trip to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico for my cousin's wedding. My mini-vacation was wonderful because I got to really just unwind, relax, and spend quality time with my other sisters (my cousins) although I missed my hubby and Pea SO MUCH.

Sadly, our grandmother passed away the morning of the wedding. Though we knew she was sick and it would be time to say goodbye soon, it was still devastating. She is such an integral part of our family, the very strong core of everything we are about. We felt her presence with us as we celebrated at the reception. The hardest part for me was not only losing her, but also seeing the deep sadness that my grandfather feels after losing the love of his life after 60 years and eight children together.

I know my grandmother is resting in peace and passed away surrounded by so much love and attention. We miss her so much already. I promise to be back with a funner post- including pictures from my trips, this growing bump, and of course Miss Olivia!

Flashback post.

A teeny Pea out to sushi with me and some girlfriends. She was around 6 months?

My big girl carefully eating with an adult-sized fork! (She insisted.)

It's a...

Today I went to my regular OB check-up in hopes that we may find out the gender of the baby. I went from wanting to keep it a secret to DYING to know. After she did the preliminary boring stuff (I have gained 5 pounds) she asked if I wanted to try and see the gender. I excitedly said, "YES!" and after trying to get the baby to move and open her/his legs she said that it looked to be a girl. I kept wanting her to look again, maybe he is hiding his manparts from us! After around three tries the verdict was likely a girl, but not 100% certain. On Monday we have the anatomy ultrasound which is more thorough and we will likely know for sure.

I am slightly disappointed, only slightly, because I really envisioned a little boy. Mostly, I am super excited to know Pea will have a sister, a built-in best friend, and a little girl playmate just like her. I have a sister and couldn't imagine not having one. So, I'll have two little girls. That totally suits me. And makes my heart warm.

Plus, let's be real. I already have all the girly crap anyway.

:)


image via: Google

Crackie.

Olivia never stops. When I say never, it is only a slight exaggeration. Even when she is asleep, she moves around and bangs her limbs on the crib bars. She eats half-standing in her chair (buckled in) and has tried several times to flee her car seat. Thankfully, the 5-point harness keeps her snugly in place. Babywearing is nearly impossible unless she is super tired and luckily her stroller also has a 5-point harness.

I was daydreaming on ways to possibly wipe out an active toddler. Long gone are the days of her tummy time/scooting/crawling fatigue that lead to her falling asleep face first on her Sophie giraffe or some other toy. We'd find her totally passed out mid-play and it was so cute. That hasn't happened in months.

How about a stationary bike that straps her in?

Or a treadmill with super strong Velcro for the feet?

Would a hamster wheel be safer and still effective?

How about my favorite, the hamster ball?

images via: Google

VOTE!!!

I am hoping to find out the baby's gender at our appointment this Wednesday. Dun dun dun!

Vote! Do you think Pea #2 is going to be a GIRL or BOY?

Preggy Sue.

Snapped a quick photo at work today with my phone:


How far along? 17 weeks
Total weight gain/loss? Around 4 lbs. depends on the time of day
Maternity clothes? Only a pair of maternity 7 For All Mankind skinny jeans (worth every cent) and a pair of H&M maternity skinny jeans (not so comfy).
Stretch marks? No new ones. I have very faint ones under my bellybutton from Olivia but I use oils and cocoa butter daily.
Sleep? Like a log.
Best moment this week? It hasn't happened, but Wednesday we have a doctor's appointment and I get to see my baby!
Movement? Random, small movements.
Food cravings? Things that are sour and spicy!!!
Food aversions? Not too many, it depends how I am feeling. I had way more aversions when I was pregnant with Pea.
Gender? Not sure yet.
Labor signs? Nope.
Belly button in/out? In.
What I miss: Beer, wine :)
What I am looking forward to: Meeting my #2 and breastfeeding her/him (sound weird?), getting a flat stomach again!

And let's not leave out my other baby, the cuteness that is Miss Olivia Simone.


p.s. I hope everyone had a wonderful New Year. I should note the huz and I went out for a yummy Thai dinner and I passed out at 11:00pm. Oh well!