Bounds.

I was sitting on the bed nursing Mila. Olivia comes in and hops on the bed to say hi to the baby. She starts off gently and then starts grabbing at her little toes a little too roughly. I remind her to be gentle and she doesn't listen. I hate having to scold her about not hurting the baby so finally I just set her off the bed. Olivia walked to the door and turned around with a very serious look on her face. She looked at Mila, then at me, and walked out.

My heart cried a little.

Look at this blog. It is an ode to Olivia. To my first child. It all began in early 2009 when I was pregnant with her and living in San Francisco. This is my love letter to her. If I something happened to me, I would want her to one day read all the entries I typed for her, pouring my love out onto the keys. Every word just flowed out of me, effortlessly, because she consumed me. Number one.

Two years later and now the number one spot is a shared one. My two girls. They both need me so much but in different ways. Olivia is needy because she is free and independent. I must watch her closely or she will be on top of the ceiling fan or splashing around in the toilet. She grows bored easily. Her intelligence is such that she notices EVERYTHING. I know she is comparing Mila to herself. Always in mommy's arms, gets all the blankies, and a shiny new car seat. I still dote on Pea but it's hard to give her 100% because I have a newborn that nurses constantly and is so helpless. Actually, 100% isn't just hard. It's impossible.

I know this is transitive and we will all evolve into a family of four, we will transition together. I am still getting used to having two babies, and hopefully Olivia will realize that she is as mine as she always was. She will forever be my first baby girl. My first true love. But, now Mila is here and I have realized my devotion to my girls is infinite. I have no limit.

I have two arms, two hands, and one really big desire to stretch myself in both directions.

matching dresses

Little Miss M

Cannibalism.

I keep raising the bar on my level of crunchy (see: hippie, alternative, nutty?). It started small with considering cloth diapers and has now come to me ingesting my own placenta.

Never thought I would say this. And proudly. Why? Because it works.

After I had Olivia I did suffer a temporary funk. And a milk under supply. And an overall new mom haze. When I heard of placenta encapsulation to ward off the post partum blues and help increase milk supply (plus more benefits) I didn't think much of it. The $250 it costs in San Diego wasn't worth it at the time when I was still pregnant and the new baby expenses just kept piling up.


My placenta: Cleaned, dried, and put into capsules.

This time around I knew I had to do it. It was worth a shot, definitely worth trying if it meant I could feel like myself sooner after having the baby. Around my 8th month a nice mama I met at a cloth diapering meeting asked me if I considered encapsulating my placenta. She told me she did hers with a friend and that after four kids could strongly attest to the benefits. Then, she offered to do mine. SCORE. I offered to pay her because I wanted to be 100% sure it would get done.

I took it as soon as I got home from the hospital and I have to say, I do not have the haze. The fuzzy, gray feeling that would come and go when Olivia was born. Lots of milk. More energy. My body is returning to homeostasis quicker because I am replenishing it with the minerals and hormones it lost when my placenta was removed. That ugly organ is actually a masterpiece of nature, the sustaining life source of Mila in my body. Blows my mind.

Lots of people are grossed out at the thought. They called it cannibalism. Really? As you chomp on fried chicken you tell me you are grossed out? Regardless, like I said, it works. I'd totally eat it in a sandwich if it meant I would feel this NORMAL so soon. I am sure there is still so much more we do not know about human placenta ingestion. Many mammals eat theirs instinctively after giving birth. It has been used all over the world, especially in Chinese medicine, for centuries.

I recommend it.

Sincerely,
Cannibal Val

S U R V I V A L .

Every mom to a new baby has a few items that she considers crucial to her survival in the first couple of weeks. This time around I realized that the most important survival tool to me was nothing found at Babies R Us but in the PEOPLE that are my support system. Recovering post-partum, a new baby who is attached to the boob, and a needy 20-month old makes for the need for help. At first I needed help just putting my underwear on, now 10 days later I need help with Olivia since I cannot lift her and sometimes my pain starts up again and I need to chill. Without my parents (mom, especially) and Todd I do not know how I would have made it.

Here is my short list of other "must-haves". Really, newborns do not need much. Don't let the baby warehouse convince you otherwise. Soon, all that brightly colored plastic stuff will just clutter. Save your money!

-NIPPLE CREAM! Pure lanolin.
-Cloth reusable nursing pads. Softer and comfier than the disposables that remind me of maxi pads for your boobs.
-Medela silicon breast shield. Allowed me to nurse with bleeding nipples. OW!
-Electric breast pump. Kept my supply up even when Mila was already full and my breasts haven't engorged. Can you believe I already have a small frozen stash???? YES!!!
-Light swaddlers for warm June days (I swear by Aden & Anais muslin wraps), and 100% cotton onesies. The wraps double as nursing covers, burp rags, and protect from harsh sun!
-A ring sling for tucking her in when we go to doctor appointments
-Boppy nursing pillow AND My Brest Friend nursing pillow. Both work great at different times... I would say My Brest Friend is best for proper nursing positioning in the beginning and the Boppy is great for its versatility and use later on when baby is bigger.
-Comfy pajamas and granny panties for me!
-Bravado nursing bras. SO WORTH THE EXTRA CASH! No weird misshapen boobs, comfy, seamless.
-Pure cocoa butter for after a nice, warm shower to relax me, heal dry skin, and make me smell good :)
*-My encapsulated placenta. This will get a post of its very own.

SHOP:
target.com
amazon.com
momsmilkboutique.com

Day by day.

It's been over a week now and recovery is really kicking my ass. I'm hoping every day will get better and soon I'll be back to normal, out and about enjoying summer with Olivia and Mila tucked cozy in a sling. I really don't know what I would do without my family, especially Todd and my mom. I know I'm trying to rush it but I cannot wait to be on my feet again as I usually would be.

Whenever the pain or discomfort get me down I just need to focus on this:

Two

One week old.