When I was pregnant with Olivia it was a no-brainer that I would breastfeed. During my pregnancy I embarked on a journey to educate myself on a more natural and sustainable lifestyle... and that of course lead me to natural parenting resources as well. Breastfeeding is at the forefront of attached, "green" parenting and I failed. Olivia received breastmilk for about 4-5 months thanks to my friend donating her overages of pumped milk to us. But, she was primarily formula fed. I had latching and supply issues but tried for the first couple months anyway. I pumped. I cried. I cursed all the reasons why I think I failed.

c-section
hospital nurses
flat nipples
supplementing
new mom fatigue
low supply
fussy baby
Not all women can breastfeed, just make her a bottle.



Fast forward to Mila and I knew I had to get it right this time. I bugged my doctors to let me nurse right after my c-section, I didn't give her a bottle or paci even when my nipples almost fell off, and I fed her throughout the night while everyone else in our home slept. I questioned the importance of it.



Saturday was one of my best friend's going away dinner and I had to be there. The location wasn't baby appropriate (nope, not even a baby in a sling) so Mila stayed with Todd and the pumped milk in the fridge. I dolled up, wore my new Missoni for Target heels, and ventured off on my first "night out". As soon as my cocktail arrived I reached into my clutch and checked my phone. Missed calls and frustrated texts. "Mila is upset and will not take the bottle."



My night out was over but somehow I did not feel too stressed. It was a bummer to have to leave after 20 minutes but I was shocked at how unphased I was. I love my kids but I also enjoy a couple drinks with friends. As I drove home it dawned on me. Mila was three months and one day, plump and growing quickly on her diet of boob milk. We did it. She is exclusively breastfed. No bottle or pacifier can calm her more than her mama's arms and everything that she can find in them.

I succeeded.