Contact Me:


Wednesday, September 7, 2011


Since Monday Olivia has:

-Given herself a bath in sunscreen
-A bath in rash cream
-Made scrambled eggs on the kitchen floor
-Dragged my dad's old pug for a walk by his hind legs
-Thrown off her shirt and used my nipple shield to nurse her Ugly Doll
-Pointed out seven letters of the alphabet
-Sat in her doll's stroller with poop on her butt
-Screamed so loud my ears rang for 15 minutes
-Made me want to cry out of defeat when I looked at her laying on the floor, writhing in the throes of a colossal tantrum
-Eaten five crayons
-Said "I la yoo"
-Put on my heels and walked like our mini hallway was her runway
-Said one thousand things I cannot understand with those round hazel eyes
-Chugged my special $4 espresso while I texted her daddy
-Created dreadlocks out of her buttery yellow curls with ketchup
-"Sang along" to Elliott Smith
-Made me smile so big my cheeks hurt

Soon I hope to publish a best-selling guide to surviving the toddler years that Oprah herself recommends but for now I will settle for my cheap shiraz from Trader Joe's and repeat caffeination throughout the day.

puts on own shoes. doesn't need a mom.
sushi date.
Aged two years next month
Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos


Eliska Bobeeska said...

You are such an amazing mother.

mom in rome said...

loooove your list and your pictures!!!

The Garlick's said...

you kids are gonna cherish this blog someday!