The manual.

Somewhere all the perfect moms are hiding the Ultimate Manual to Mothering, while all the rest of us are left to piece together information from parenting books and websites, advice from our own moms, and natural instinct. As Olivia grows older I find myself relying more on the instinct and less on what I am "supposed" to do. Still, I am left with questions.

Although I see Olivia is bright and lively, sometimes there are doubts. I am sure I am not the only mom who wonders: Am I spoiling her too much? Do we not read enough books? Is she confused by hearing two languages back and forth all day? Does she have too much stuff? Which kid will she be in school?

I try to adhere to certain school of thought while raising Olivia, and cultivating the little person she is becoming. We let her be naked sometimes, sleep with us at night, and play in dirt while wearing her new tutu dress. When I notice other mothers not doing the same things, or being more rigid, I cannot imagine my Pea flourishing if I were like that. Then, it all comes back to me. What I do for her is right for us and perhaps for no one else.

Yup, there is dirt under her fingernails at the end of the day and she is happily aware of all the attention but I'll stick to it. It works.